Thursday, December 11, 2008

Put That One In The Morgue.

I'm not embarrassed to say that there are some things I'm extremely good at. I'm not bragging, mind you. It is just simply a fact.

Take tearing the shit out of stuffed animals, for example. I am really, really good at that.

Whereas some dogs might attack violently, swinging their prey back and forth, and running around like an idiot - instead, I prefer to methodically remove all its vital functions - leaving it, frankly, without a reason to live anyway.

Eyes, ears, noses. Gone. And the final blow? Rip out their spine.

Once completed, I take the carcass to my human, drop it at his feet, and look at him proudly.

I am a killer. And I like what I do.

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