Put That One In The Morgue.

I'm not embarrassed to say that there are some things I'm extremely good at. I'm not bragging, mind you. It is just simply a fact.

Take tearing the shit out of stuffed animals, for example. I am really, really good at that.

Whereas some dogs might attack violently, swinging their prey back and forth, and running around like an idiot - instead, I prefer to methodically remove all its vital functions - leaving it, frankly, without a reason to live anyway.

Eyes, ears, noses. Gone. And the final blow? Rip out their spine.

Once completed, I take the carcass to my human, drop it at his feet, and look at him proudly.

I am a killer. And I like what I do.