Thursday, April 23, 2009

Just A Simple Observation.

Squirrels look weird as shit when you're lying upside down. It's like theyre wearing anti-gravity boots or something. I would like to walk out that door and eat them, but this rug is very awesome.

Monday, April 20, 2009


Deer (or "the zombies", as I will now refer to them) have gained an advantage. The empty branches which use to barely mask their movements have all turned green with foliage. My goal of catching one, it seems, has become more difficult. The long wait even has me sitting down. Sat there for 45 minutes and didn't see even one.

Tonight, I dine on my own failure.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Holy shit that thing is big.

One of my loyal readers sent me an email the other day with this pic attached.

Man, that's the biggest damn squirrel I've ever seen. Not sure I could even kill one of those.

But hat's off to you, my friends. Thanks for saving us from what is surely a demon tree rat from hell.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Look at me you ass!

Yesterday morning, during my walk (with my human), we passed a fence with the biggest fucking dogs I've ever seen.

Normally, when I cross paths with a dog, they pretty much get right off that I have the power, and the will, to show them who's boss. But not these guys. The hair on my back went up and they were oblivious. Couldn't care less.

Maybe they knew there was a fence between us, protecting them. But I have a hunch that's not the case. They didn't even look up.

So I feel curious, and at the same time, challenged. Their apathy taunts me. I want desperately to get in that corral and show them what a lean, mean chasing machine can do to their smug, arrogant attitude.

Look, I may be a dog, but I've mastered the computer keyboard. I think next, I will learn how to use bolt cutters.