Sunday, March 8, 2009

I should drive a muscle car.

It has occurred to me recently that deer are, in fact, JUST like zombies. When humans go anywhere... as soon as it starts getting dark, they're all, like, "WE GOTTA GET HOME... BEFORE THE DEER COME OUT!!!"

Well, tonight we were home... when - the - deer - came - out. And I was not on a leash. I saw about 15 of them at about the same time as my human gave me the go-ahead. By the time I got into the middle of 'em, another 15 come running over the hill... RIGHT INTO MY KILL ZONE.

Actually, I don't try to kill them. They're zombies, remember? I think they can only be killed with a car.

No, I don't kill. I disrupt. I fuck with their "status quo."

Then, I piss on everything and smile.

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