Saturday, January 12, 2008

Get Out Your Checkbook, Bitches.


My human takes me walking almost every day except for weekends. But today, for some wonderful reason, he decided we should patrol the neighborhood. So off we went.

I don't want to be redundant, so I won't go into how much I love going for a walk. Just read my past posts and you'll have some idea as to how great it is.

But today was even better. You see, we don't usually walk on Saturdays... so I didn't know what I was missing.

During our normal walks, I've assumed that there were many more dogs in the area, based on their foul, unwelcome scents... but what I didn't realize is how many of them go for walks with their humans on the weekend. It's like amateur night for dogs.

Today, for example, we crossed paths with 4 or 5 different dogs who were in dire need of a reminder as to who, exactly, was the king of this neighborhood. My human, knowing just how big a badass I am, would see them coming, then grab my collar and warn the approaching human that there could be trouble. But many don't have a clue as to how serious the warning really is. I damn near got a piece of a German Shepherd today, but when his human saw me snarl my teeth, she and her dog both ran away.

Once they're out of my view, it's back to normal. But I do tend to walk with just a bit more of a strut after each incident.

Yup. I own this neighborhood. To be honest, when I walk, I'm just looking to make sure there are no other dogs that think otherwise.

I did find a website where some human will craft actual armor for your dog, if you're into Renaissance Fairs and shit like that. The dogs in my neighborhood would be well advised to purchase sets of their own... that is, if they want try anything with me.

2 comments:

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

The market for canine armor must be booming, Pancho. And did you happen to notice the squirrel armor?

Pancho said...

I did. I don't like it, though. I think it would make them too crunchy and might mess up my dental work.