With Dogged Determination, I Try To Engage My Readers
Okay people. It's not often you find a dog with the capacity to communicate. So, I think it's reasonable to expect that you might have some questions for me. I welcome them.
Pancho, When I was growing up my parents had a cocker spaniel named Molly, they also had a cat at that time. We would catch Molly in the closet eating...well... the cat poop from the litter box.
At first I wasn't going to answer your question. I just figured you for an anonymous human, trying to cause trouble.
But then I considered your question further.
Okay. I'll tell you what the fuck I"m barking at. I'm barking at those goddamn dogs across the street... with their humans who walk them every damn night.
I'm barking at the yard men who don't even bother to notice and admire my ever-growing hole... much less, trim the edge of it so it looks nice.
I'm barking at the Alpha Male Human, who kicks me out of his bed when he comes to sleep at night.
And I'm barking at God for not giving me big boots and the capacity to stand upright so I can come over there and kick your ass.
7 comments:
Pancho,
When I was growing up my parents had a cocker spaniel named Molly, they also had a cat at that time. We would catch Molly in the closet eating...well... the cat poop from the litter box.
What's up with that?
Well, your dog Molly had some issues, to be sure. Not because she ate cat shit. That's pretty normal amongst us dogs. (there's good protein in there!)
No, your dog had issues because she would go into the closet to eat it.
What's up with that, indeed!
Was she embarrassed? Or, perhaps, fearful that you might take the shit away from her?
Wait a minute. Do you eat shit, too?
Pancho,
What the fuck are you barking at?
pancho,
why do you dogs constantly sniff so much, i mean i know that you want to know who i am, but it never stops!
whats the dealio yo?
Confused Human,
I get this question a lot. And I suppose there are many reasons. The most important, is that I have an insatiable thirst for knowledge.
And when it comes to gathering knowledge, authors can lie. Sounds can be recreated digitally. Pictures can be Photoshopped.
But my mutt-dog nose... It's money, bro.
Anon,
At first I wasn't going to answer your question. I just figured you for an anonymous human, trying to cause trouble.
But then I considered your question further.
Okay. I'll tell you what the fuck I"m barking at. I'm barking at those goddamn dogs across the street... with their humans who walk them every damn night.
I'm barking at the yard men who don't even bother to notice and admire my ever-growing hole... much less, trim the edge of it so it looks nice.
I'm barking at the Alpha Male Human, who kicks me out of his bed when he comes to sleep at night.
And I'm barking at God for not giving me big boots and the capacity to stand upright so I can come over there and kick your ass.
Whoa Pancho,
chill doggy...
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