Moving Is A Bitch.

As I mentioned previously, my human and I just moved in to our new place. Actually, we're not done moving yet. Still kinda in the process.

Well, the very first day, my human decides to leave me at the house for an hour while he goes to the store. I wanted to go, but he seemed to think the folks at Kroger might not be hip to canines. So in protest. I peed on the floor.

Well, there's no doggie door yet, so I knew I wouldn't get scolded.

Next day, same deal.

So he starts thinking I'm all traumatized from the change and decides to take me everywhere with him. Convenience stores, restaurants, home-improvement warehouses. It has been awesome. I'm meeting tons of people. And they all want to pet me.

Maybe when that doggie door gets here, I'll just keep peeing inside. Wouldn't want him to stop taking me out.

But anyway. It's been a long day. I'm gonna go lay down on the sofa. Already found me a good spot.

G'night.

What I Am Thankful For.

Hey folks. It's been a while. Last time I posted, I thought I was moving South with my human. Turns out, the next day, he gets a job offer and decides to stay. So, I've remained here, as a guest in the home of his friend (who happens to have 3 rat terriers).

Well, tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I have a lot to be thankful for.

I am thankful that my human has such kind friends who took me in and made me feel welcome.

I am thankful that my human has finally landed on his feet. In fact, he rented a place for the both of us TODAY. That's it in the photo. He's ordered a doggie door and there'll be all kinds of new places for me to park my ass.

Most of all, I think, I'm thankful that my human and I will be together again. He needs me.

I think I'll probably start posting again on a slightly more regular basis. My human will be gone all day and (hopefully) will leave the Mac on.

Those other folks had a PC. Fuck that.

YOU CAN'T HAVE ME ANYWAY. HA HA.

Good news people.

It looks like I'm going to be with my human once again. If he doesn't find a job soon (and get us both a place together), then he's opted to move South. Yes, it is quite possible that I will be chasing deer, armadillos, and other creatures in the very near future. Good, because squirrels are pussies.

Now that he's figured out a way to keep me, there's no way in hell he'd give me up.

So...

I now officially rescind my previous offer. Not that any of you were beating a trail to my gate or anything. I recognize it's hard to effectively communicate my utter cuteness by my mere written words. But shit! Not one offer?

Soon, I'll be hangin with my human again. So fuck yall anyway.

This sucks, but it needs to be said.

Well, friends... this is a difficult post.

It seems my human has been unable to find a job. That means he's unable to afford a place where we both can live together. Looks like I'm going to need a new home.

If you live near Dallas and are interested in taking on a roommate... (or are willing to travel to Dallas to get me)

If you have a home in which you can install a large dog door and will allow me free reign of the house as well as a yard to pee in...

If you are cool with a large, 70 pound dog whose number one favorite thing to do is to snuggle and be petted...

If you don't mind vacuuming up dog hair and recognize it as a small price to pay for complete loyalty and unabashed affection...

Well, then... this could be your lucky day.

My human is not very happy about this, but realizes that it is necessary.

If you're interested, you may call him at 214-534-6632.

Just an update.

No photos yet of me in my temporary home. (the above pic is an old one) But I did determine that I am, apparently, living in Dallas, Texas. That would explain the heat. My human has been stopping by more and more infrequently. He always cries when he sees me. I hope he's not considering finding me another home. I was just really connecting with him.

He tells me that he is living at another friend's house, looking for a job and will find us a place to live together as soon as he does. I guess I was right about he and his mate splitting up.

I just wanted to tell all my readers that I'm fine. I appreciate your comments. I have no idea what is going to happen, but I'm sure, eventually, things will work themselves out.

I'll try to post when I can. Till then, remember... all squirrels and cats must die. (I might be getting over my hatred of other dogs)

Road Trip

Not sure where we went. But it's hot as fuck here.

On the road, as you can see in the picture, I enjoyed the AC immensely.

Sorry I haven't been posting. My human has me staying at someone's house. There are three little rat terriers there.

Made 'em all my bitches.

Dog-Gone-It.

Not sure what's going on. My human is sleeping on the couch these days. No more snuggling in bed with he and his mate. I guess, maybe, they're splitting up or something.

I have no idea what is going to happen to me. I know my human loves me. I also know his mate loves me. And the daughter? She loves me crazy bad.

I have no way to communicate with them and tell them what I think. If I could, I'd tell them that - when you're a family, you've got to make it work. There are just too many others that will be affected by their decisions. Including dogs.

Shit. This sucks hard.

Nice thing is... for the here and now, my human cries all the time. That means he ALWAYS wants my affection.

Ah! Spring!

It's that time of year folks. Time when all you humans start planting bulbs, cleaning out flower beds, washing driveways and sidewalks.

Well, don't think that just because we're dogs, the changing of the seasons doesn't affect us, as well. It most certainly does. Just like you all look forward to working in the yard, so do we. Because "digging" season is here.

Yes, Digging Season. The time when every self-respecting canine gives his paws a workout to see how big a mark he can leave on his territory. There's nothing quite like a big patch of brown in the middle of green. It says "Hey world... my name is Pancho. See how good I can dig? Yeah... well then, don't fuck with me."

Uh-Oh.

Yeah. You're going to need toilet paper, dude.

Cuz I'm pretty sure you're in deep shit.

I Just Speak My Mind, Folks.

What the hell do they know anyway?

Bitches At The Beach.

What a day I had yesterday.

My human and his mate took me to the beach. There were dogs everywhere... (get it? Bitches at the Beach? Hahaha) I wanted so badly to kick all their asses, but my human wasn't having any of it. Never-the-less, it was an awesome day. I really enjoy a change in the routine of hanging around the house, sleeping and getting petted.

At one point, we were stopped in traffic on a farm road (must've been a wreck ahead or something) and right outside the window was a pasture with several cows. They were fucking ugly. And they were eating grass like it was regular food. One of them gave me a look and I barked my ass off at him.

I don't take shit from cows... or any other animal, for that matter.

Pretty Damn Cool.

I'm not a big fan of chasing tennis balls, but if I was, this would be, like, completely awesome. I suppose my humans could get me one and I could shoot dead squirrels in it. But they don't really like it when I bring dead animals in the house.

I think what I really want is a petting machine.

New Situation At Home.

Wow has my life changed. My damn human got a job.

At least the summer is kinda here. So I'm spending more time outside lately. There seems to be new squirrel activity and the humans are keeping the blinds open... allowing me a view of the street from the landing.

But I must say I've been pretty bored.

One nice thing about the humans being gone is... they tend to feel guilty and respond well to my excitement when they get home.

"Hey Pancho! How's it going? Are you a good dog? Are you a happy dog? You want a treat?"

Fuckin-A right I'm happy. Hell yeah I want a treat. What... are you an idiot? I'm a dog! I've been alone for, like, 8 hours. C'mon dude, let's party!

(I'm including the photo of the puppy sitting on the cat, not because it has any relevance to this post... but, come on... it's a DOG sitting on a CAT. How cool is that?)

One Of My Favorite Dog Videos.

Okay. Here you go. Hope you like it as much as I do.

Okay. So I've Been Busy.

Well, what do you know? I got a comment on my previous post.

To answer that dear reader... well, yes, I realize that it has been some time since my last posting. But to be honest with you, I've kinda lost interest in the blogging thing. Besides, I spend so much time helping my human with his blog, there's hardly enough time to write my own.

Also, I keep track of the readership here at Pancho's Place and there are so few (and so few comments) it hardly seems worth it. I suppose I should take down the site, but who knows, I may feel inspired to write some more later.

I do appreciate all the people who have read my blog over the past few months. It has been fun. Check back in a few weeks and who knows... maybe I'll come up with something interesting.

Classic Scrap-aholic.

Someone needs an intervention. Seriously, dude... get up. Try moving a little.

Get Out Your Checkbook, Bitches.

My human takes me walking almost every day except for weekends. But today, for some wonderful reason, he decided we should patrol the neighborhood. So off we went.

I don't want to be redundant, so I won't go into how much I love going for a walk. Just read my past posts and you'll have some idea as to how great it is.

But today was even better. You see, we don't usually walk on Saturdays... so I didn't know what I was missing.

During our normal walks, I've assumed that there were many more dogs in the area, based on their foul, unwelcome scents... but what I didn't realize is how many of them go for walks with their humans on the weekend. It's like amateur night for dogs.

Today, for example, we crossed paths with 4 or 5 different dogs who were in dire need of a reminder as to who, exactly, was the king of this neighborhood. My human, knowing just how big a badass I am, would see them coming, then grab my collar and warn the approaching human that there could be trouble. But many don't have a clue as to how serious the warning really is. I damn near got a piece of a German Shepherd today, but when his human saw me snarl my teeth, she and her dog both ran away.

Once they're out of my view, it's back to normal. But I do tend to walk with just a bit more of a strut after each incident.

Yup. I own this neighborhood. To be honest, when I walk, I'm just looking to make sure there are no other dogs that think otherwise.

I did find a website where some human will craft actual armor for your dog, if you're into Renaissance Fairs and shit like that. The dogs in my neighborhood would be well advised to purchase sets of their own... that is, if they want try anything with me.

Pancho The Nazi Killer?

I think most of my readers know that I have made it abundantly clear how proud I am to be an all-American mutt dog. And it's no secret that I love to kick a little ass now and then.

So imagine my surprise when I found this website that features pictures of cats that look like Hitler.

I would so-o-o-o like to tear these felines to shreds.

Pancho Winter Wear.

My humans ordered me a coat today. That picture above is from the PetSmart website. Regular readers will know that I'm not crazy about wearing garments, but what the hell... it's been cold lately.

I think my alpha male makes some rather salient points about it in his blog post today. Yes, that's right friends... I'm finally introducing you to my human.

If you think I'm foul-mouthed, just wait'll you get a load of his rantings.

Strange Picture.

Another weird pic from the internet. So what's the deal here?

Either he's a super-bad-ass dog that requires the power of a helicopter to keep him under control, or...

Those guys in the chopper have just lassoed him and are going to hang him to death, or...

The helicopter is a rescue unit and the dog is merely leading them to the well where Jimmy has fallen.

Any ideas?